The art of molding

Modeling clay is really cool stuff. It is fun, feels a little messy on the hands but in reality isn't very messy at all. You can create whatever your mind can image; it can be completive or relaxing. It feels good to create, to take your time or to finish quickly and it feels even better to accomplish, to finish something and to think that it looks great. Interesting though that on the flip side there are a lot less positive feelings involved even though it is the King of the universe that is the one doing the molding of the clay. (Jeremiah 18) As he builds us, molds us, reminds us that He is the one in complete control, it can be uncomfortable but to rightly understand who He is should not make us uncomfortable but rather security in His hands.

It is just under one month away from being September. And for most people that isn’t exciting news as we would prefer summer to last forever. Myself I am very eager for September, yet the name of this month also brings a lot of uncertain feelings for me. I am holding loosely to this hope of being able to move to Toronto and to begin a new season of life with UrbanPromise Toronto, yet hold it loosely because it isn’t my decision to make. As I working on communicating my need for this fall I am reminded time and time again that it has very little to do with what I am doing and has everything to do with what God is doing. He is the molder, He is the creator and He is the one creating, building and strengthen not only my relationships, trust and dependency on Him but is working on the hearts and lives of many people involved and connected to me.

This may sound all cheery and great, that I understand or am confident in the fact that I am not the one in control or that I am perfectly comfortable and relaxed in the fact that He is working this all out to the praise of His name. I wish that was all true and there are glimpses of time when it is. The more realistic picture of it all is me pathetically trying to manage on my own, frantically thinking that I am the one in control only to sink as Peter did in the waves when His eyes left Jesus and became fixed on the waves swirling around him. My eyes can so often we fixated on the things surrounding me, circumstances, feelings and what I think I am able to do in the midst of it all.

“Lord save me” Matt 14:30, was peter’s cry. He was drowning in what surrounded him; he was completely helpless and cried out to Jesus. “Immediately”, what sweet words, immediately. Jesus did not wait, He did not make Pete gravel or beg, rather immediately, without delay, Jesus reached out his hand and took hold of him. “Oh you of little faith, why did you doubt?” Peter knew Jesus, had seen Jesus just a few days earlier feed 5,000 men with only 5 loaves and 2 fish. Where was his faith, it had been replaced with his eyes, his focus fixed on the circumstances surrounding him.

I feel like Peter, one minute I am amazed by Jesus, by His grace in so many ways, great and small, only to be one of little faith letting my circumstances overwhelm me. What an assurance it is to know that when I cry out to Him, He will immediately extend His hand to pick me up again!

A lesson in giving thanks

Just recently I was reading a book that I had put off reading for the past two years, 1000 Gifts. In this book the writer Ann Voskamp speaks of the Greek word Eucharisteo best explained from Luke 22:19 where when Jesus took bread He gave thanks before he broke it. Eucharisteo, the a constant practice of giving thanks.


On Wednesday morning I was spending a view hours working at a local vegetable farm selling strawberries and fresh peas. I was giving thanks for the peas, for how simple it seemed from my point of view to grow peas, you plants it, weed it, God sends rain to water it and before you know it we're picking and selling. But when I pondered everything involved that God did behind the scene's it amazed me and I was moved to give thanks.


A couple hours later things weren't looking so wonderful anymore. I received disappointing news, I couldn't move forward with my long planned dream of getting an apartment with a dear friend for September. It would have been foolish to move forward with such plans when the rest of my plans were still uncertain, once again I would have to wait. It has been a season of learning to wait for me, I get so excited to move ahead full force so quickly and God has over and over again slowed down my plans and moved me to a place of submitting my plans, ideas and dreams to His will and His timing.


Wednesday afternoon in my disappointment, I questioned myself. Only a couple hours I was rejoicing over the complexity of pea's and how carefully God tends to things that we often don't even recognize and now here I was fretting over myself and my plans. The question that kept coming to my mind was what has changed? My attitude definitely had, but what had actually changed outside of myself? The answer of nothing, sure my understand of a situation had changed but the circumstances hadn't change, God hadn't changed, His sovereignty over the pea's and my life had not even budged a little bit. Consequently what followed this was the conviction that if God was the same, His provision and care remained unchanged, then why had my giving thanks changed so dramatically in the moments of disappointment?


Since last Wednesday God has given me great reason to rejoice. In the many ways I have been able to see His perfect timing on display, the many words of encouragement and the ways I am able to see his provision. Thank you for many of you who have been used in the past few days of being part of God's lessons to me.


"But now O Lord, You are my Father, I am the clay, and You are the potter, I am the work of your hand." Isaiah 64:8


Continue to mold me

JEHOVAH-JIREH: "The Lord Will Provide"

I have heard often enough that trusting or having faith in times that are easy isn't real faith. It is when things get difficult that our faith is really put to the test. This week has been filled with many moments of needing to remind myself that trusting and having faith in situations that seem far to big are also the moments that show me how strong my faith actually is.

This summer has been a season of raising financial support for the future as I prepare to move into full time permeate ministry with UrbanPromise Toronto, to be able to do this I depend on financial support being donated by monthly partners or one time givers. I am also required to raise 70% of my $30,000 financial goal for a year. This seems like such a large number, yet thinking of living in Toronto it makes sense but that doesn't make it any less intimidating.

Currently, I have about 20% of this goal raised for which I am very thankful and have experienced much amazement of God's provision. I am also eagerly desiring to being back with Urban Promise as soon as possible. The supervisor position I will be filling in the Warden Woods Community in Scarborough is going to available in September and it is my prayer to be able to fill this role right away and begin come September. To be able to do this I still need to have 50% aka $15,000 raised in one time gifts or monthly donations.

I humble ask you to first, visit the website to really understand what it is that UrbanPromise Toronto does in serving Toronto and the need that we seek to meet or contact me with questions!
Second, I ask that you pray and consider how you might be able to support me as I continue on this humbling endeavor of following God and trusting that He will provide in His timing and in His way as I follow Him in being obedient to the things that He has called me too.

"O you of little faith! And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. For all the nations of the world seek after these things and your Father knows that you need the. Instead, seek his kingdom and these things will be added to you." Matthew 12:28b-31

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the convictions of things not seen." Heb 11:1

Please contact me with any questions you may have at kiezebrink.janelle@gmail.com
To make a donation please visit www.urbanpromise.com and find my name under donate, support a missionary.