She hit it floor as the leaders separated the girls, and she
sank low on the floor sobbing angry and hurt hot tears. A leader knelt down
beside her trying to comfort her, but instead baby girl cried out, “You don’t
care, you don’t care at all you didn’t do anything”. I rushed over and as a knelt down to the floor
could hear heavy angry breathing between her sobs. “Kiki” I whispered, “come with me, we can talk
about it. She lashed out through her tears, “No”! Quickly one of her peers come
over and coxed her to go with her into a different room to cool down.
Walking into the room I could hear her peer telling her not
to worry about the other girls, that she didn’t need them and was cool without
them. I sat and listened as this 14 years old took responsibility over this 11
year old. After a while I interrupted, “Kiki, can I talk to you alone”? She
nodded without eye contact. As the peer left, I bent close and asked if I could
give her a hug. She feel and sank into my body and hug me tight, as her sobs
turned to uncontrolled crying. “I’m sorry baby girl,” I whispered as I held her
tight.
As we began to talk I quickly realized that so much of what
had happened rooted back in to this little girls identity. I again interrupted her
explaining the situation and told her how beautiful, cool, smart, adventurous,
creative and loved her was. As I reminded her of how much Jesus loves her and
all the things He thinks about her the tears slowly started running down a what
had become soft and broken face free from anger. I reminder her about how Jesus
never retaliated or acted out in revenge because He didn’t have to prove
himself, and how because of His life and death we don’t have to prove our worth
and ourselves to others either. As she
listened the tears dripped down her face and she leaned forward into my arms “I
love you Jello”.
As I tried to hold back my own tears I asked if she was able
to receive an apology from the other girl, she said she was. This surprised me,
so I asked her if she was going to be able to also over her forgiveness, again
she said yes. Surprised even more, I looked her in the eye and asked her how,
how could she forgive this girl for what she did? I was discouraged, discouraged that the last
day of camp before Christmas was ending with a fight between my girls,
discouraged that there was so much unrest at camp, I was tired and feeling
frustrated in ministry. But she stopped and looked be straight in the eye and
said, “I don’t want to Jello, but I can because Jesus forgave me”. I quickly became a weeping mess myself as we
cried together because of the hurt and
the brokenness, and because of the beautiful and reality of what Jesus and for
the fruition of it coming to live in this little girl.
