Kingdom

“We want the kingdom”

Is the echo of their words and actions

The place where not more tears exist

Of happiness, satisfaction and life

The streets of gold and life of easy

The place where it’s all going on

This kingdom we want

But what makes a kingdom a kingdom

Is it the location that makes it what it is

Way up in the skies

A place we dream of

Containing every whim of our imagination

And the things that we deem as “good”

Or is a kingdom not more than a destination

More then what our minds can perceive

Or even begin to conjure up?

You see I think it’s more than anything we think of as good

Something more than a place that merely host

And caters to us

Maybe it’s a place where the focus isn’t simply to please us

I think a kingdom is in simple fact

A dome of a king

A place that is good because of the good king

A location that satisfies because

The one who knows us best rules there

A place that brings joy

Merely because of the presence of the king

Of a home where we know we belong

To the one we long and crave for

And believe this

Not for a moment will the focus be on us

But rather all on the king of the kingdom

But what concerns me is that so many want the first kind of kingdom

But there is no kingdom if there is no king

And you can’t have no kingdom

If you reject the king

One of those days

Today was one of those days, a day that filled my heart to overflowing.  A kind of day that had my lit up with a smile just from watching my boys play basketball, to watching them fall asleep on the subway ride home. It was full of moments where I was so proud, proud of my young leaders stepping out of the comfort zones, watching them reach of to a child who felt left out and leading others to do the same.  It was full of meaning full moments of conversations, a young man asking how someone could get baptized and then expressing his desire to be baptized because of his desire to follow Jesus. It’s moments like these that I cannot keep the tears from filling my eyes with the immense joy I feel and know. 

It was also the kind of day that had my heart so burdened and heavy, a day where one of my young leaders came up to me at the end of the day and asked me if she could go home, ask I looking at her face the sun glasses did not hide the tears streaming down her face. Without delay I told her to take her time and to join us for staff night when she was ready. Moments later I found out that her 14 year old friend had been shot the night before after hanging out with her and some others girls and had died this morning in the hospital. Blank. I ran after her and wrapped her in my arms. She sobbed into my shoulder and clung to me.

Quick conversation with my co-worker decided that our staff night would begin with a prayer meeting.

As we struggled through the next few hours, we gathered together with our streetleaders and interns in a building we have long desired to use. A building unused, left empty in the community, yet for so long we had desired to use and had been unable. Today  for the first time it was filled with life again, games, laughter and food going on inside, basketball outside. Again my heart was filled, filled with the love of a community support, loving and embracing each other and coming together.

The night was coming to an end as the staff night wrapped up. Hurting girls grieving the deep loss asked to go to the beach. Four of them piled into my car and we drove. Open water, space to breath. We ran into the water and let loose, we played. We splashed and laughter filled the skies. The laughter was healing. We sang and danced, jumping the waves. Our cloths soaked, we ran around, being careless and free. We laughed. They passed me a stick, “bride to be bride to be throw the bouquet”, they chanted. Over dramatically I counted down and through the stick, the pushed and throw each other into the water until one rose celebrating her success. Once we were all soaked we piled back into the car. As I drove them home I was filled with great joy, immense sorrow and so much thankfulness.

Today was one of those days, one of those days that will be cherished deep within my heart.

                           

Cold calls to Warm Interactions.

All I had was a number, 10 digits that represented something I did not yet know.  I hate the phone, for anyone who has lived me we I would rather never answer a phone call. As a kid and teen and even adult I would leave it ringing for someone else to get and picking up isn’t even the worst part, making cold call phone calls is even worse.

I dialed these 10 numbers and waiting, in my mind ran the subconscious scribe I had run through my mind for the past 15 minutes. “Hello”, “Hi, my name is Janelle I’m a camp leader”, and I waited. What else should I say; I didn’t know who I was calling, only that they had an 11 year old they wanted to come to camp. Before I knew it was out rightly asked her where she lived and told her I’d come over to drop off a form for her. Minutes later I was standing at a door waiting for not sure who to open the door.

Next morning I dial those same 10 numbers, “Hi, its Janelle I met you yesterday”. For the life of me I couldn’t remember her name. “I was wondering if I could come over around 10 with a friend, we’d like to get to know you more”, (because that doesn’t sound creepy or anything). “Sure, that’s fine”, she sounded a little uncertain but I took it as a confident yes.

An hour later I was again standing at the same door with my co-worker waiting for her to answer, not super sure how I was going to introduce them since I still could only remember that her name started with an F. I didn’t need to worry; she eagerly opened the door, introducing herself and invited us up stairs. We spent the next hour visiting getting to know her and her story.

. The next day she came out and joined out Mom’s group in the local Community Center and we made homemade pasta together. She is a beautiful woman, a strong outgoing personality and she is very excited to have made friends in the community. As we discussed grace in relation to being a neighbor she shared her thoughts and ideas and I thanked God for the boldness He gave me to make that cold call because two days later it meant she was immersed in a loving group of woman who desire to love and support her as they share the love of Jesus Christ with her. 

A prideful heart softened

I faced the stairs and the daunting task ahead. Pride had again reared its ugly head as it fought hard against authority, its eyes only focused on self, and its rights above others. The consequence had been given 20 minutes to sit in the office. As I took the first step I wondering where I would find this young man. Where He would be hiding, avoiding what had been required of him. I reach the top and glance into the office. There, still, quite with a low bent head sat the one just a few minutes had been fighting vigorously.

I bent down and looking up into his eyes, “Thank you, thank you for being here, I am proud of you, I know it was hard”. I looked deep, wanting to hear the wrestle going on inside of him and quietly asked him if he would like to talk more. He slowly uttered a first word. What is normal a boy of many words and little thought was suddenly choosing his words very carefully.  He spoke honestly, of frustration of anger, of the raw, really feelings mixed of what he knew was right and wrong.

As he spoke slowly and more controlled than I had ever seen in the past I was able to confirm and agree of the struggle he was explaining to me, pride, an ugly beast relentless to have its own way. He expressed his yearning for more and he spoke with a rich understand of the conflict it causes with the leaders. He spoke in quiet, sad tones. “Are you done?”  I asked him.

You see this young man has been a part of the youth program for 4 years and he only has one more week left as He is graduating and off to high school next year.  In barely a whisper he responded that he didn't know. I slowed prodded him with question to tell me the ways he had grown since he had come, what had happened over the previous four years and weather those years had been good and fruitful ones. I encouraged him that something that had been such a great thing for so many years did not need to end on this note. We discussed Romans 5:4 and Galatians 5, of perseverance and character, of the fruits of the spirit and the way we are taught, refined and built. He listened quietly. As we finished he thanked me and I was able to prayer for him before he ran off to join the other kids to play. 

Invitation to join me in the mission of reaching, raising and restoring!

Let me share with you about a nonprofit organization in Toronto called UrbanPromise Toronto whose mission it is to Reach children with the love of Jesus to Raise them into leaders who Restore their communities!

I joined UrbanPromise Toronto for a 2 year internship 3 years ago and this past September I joined them as a full time staff member to reach the kids and youth in Warden Woods Scarborough with the love of Jesus Christ and to raise the youth there to be leaders who do love Jesus and make a difference in their communities that are broken in family, in relationship, in love, that are wounded due to gangs and violence.

Let me share a story with you about Dashawn, he is 9 years old and lives not with his mother or his father but with his mother’s ex-boyfriend because he is the only one who cares for me. His mother in fact is missing and wanted by authorities. Dashawn also lives with his three younger half-sisters, only one of them in fact is the blood relation to the ex-boyfriend caring for these four children.  

I first met Dashawn and his “family” this past fall when Dashawn started coming out to camp. He had little self-discipline and large amounts of anger. He struggled in camp to follow the rules of respecting self, others, leader, property and God and often time would end up being suspended due to his behavior After watched him for a while we realized that Dashawn was actually a very orderly kid, and disorder or not knowing what to expect really threw him off in what came out as anger. 

The leaders at camp continued to work with him creating for him his own personal chart showing each transition in a day at camp, he could then earn a sticker for each transition he did well and if he earned all of his stickers he was able to come the next day to camp and so. In two weeks Dashawn went from being suspended every day to earning back every day of the week! He had been empowered in making small decisions that where encouraged and whether he had a good day or not he was loved and always given another chance! 

Today Dashawn is a sweet fun loving boy, now don’t get me wrong he is still the same little boy but something has shifted. This past week as I was in the kitchen I could over hear the boys in the next room having a bible study and he was explained to the other kids what preaching was, this kid who 8 months ago didn’t really know anything about Jesus. We have also gotten to know his younger sisters and desire and hope for them to be able to come to camp in future years! We have also been able to pray with and for and support the ex-boyfriend who gives of himself to care for these children.

I am so excited about the things that are happening in so many children and youth that I have come to know during my time with UrbanPromise Toronto! For the past month I have been interviewing youth who desire to give back to their communities by being a part of summer camp this year and have a chance to be leaders to the younger kids in their communities and to tell them about God!

As a missionary to this community I am financially supported 100% through donations of committed monthly supports and one time donors! Currently I am need of monthly donors to partner with me and the work of UrbanPromise Toronto in a financial way.  My financial goal is $2500 a month and I am currently sitting at 77% of this. If you are interested in joining me in this mission in partnering with me financially I would love to speak more with you.

You can sign up as a monthly donor or make a donation at www.urbanpromise.com “donate” and “support a missionary”.

Thank you for your consideration and support!

Contact Info:

janelle@urbanpromise.com

Tough woman in a durag

She frantically ran to retrieve her coffee, a smoke in one hand, and a Styrofoam cup in the other. 
"Did I miss craft time?"
I smile happy to see this  special woman.
"Yes" I responded, "it was from 10 till 1".
Catching her breath the words split out, "Oh shit, I really like craft time, I'm sorry I missed it,I've just been so busy."

We stood just outside of the community center together, she steadily sipped away at her coffee between her smokes. Dressed in tight blue jeans and a black tank top her hair pulled back and hidden behind a durag. 

"I went back to my ex-boss and asked for some work, I'm a hustler now." she said proudly. "That's why I am dressed like this, it's my hustling cloths."
Carefully I choose my words and asked what work she was doing.
"Cleaning cars, you know I never knew how big windshields where until I was cleaning them."

She looked down as she rubbed her tough leather like hands, "It's hard work, I'm not as young as a once was you know,  it's hard on my hands their were all puffy and shit this morning, but the big cars are worth more money."
She rambled on about her grown son need 3 root canals and not having enough money which is why she picked up this job.
"He is a bit of a workaholic, my ex-boss, that's why he liked me, I worked hard, but that was six years ago, shit I'm a lot older now."

She takes on about live on the block, of the daily fears of those who watch the block and of the threats and the hash reality of the past. She finished up with her normal declaration:
"All I know is God is good, He's been watching out for me all this time and He is good that is all I know, you know."
This woman is a strong woman and she has a great faith that God loves her and is looking out for her. She sipped down the last drop of coffee, throw the butt of the cigarette and rushed off down the sidewalk, 
"Love you girls," she shouted over her shoulder and she was gone again. 

Lord Jesus protect her today in the strength and comfort of your everlasting arms. 

My list of reasons to give thanks Apr 29

Beautiful weather

It being warm enough for flip flops

Talking with a mom as she shared her journey with me

Playing at the park with 2 year old boy

Adorable boy holding onto my hand

Adorable boy stomping his feet to get me to chase him

Praying over 2 year old boy as he swung, that he would be a man after God’s own heart.

Sitting outside and having a bible study with a few moms

Running into three sisters walking back to school from lunch

Tearful 5 year old girl upset about a cupcake

Helping older sister to listen to younger sister

Having a group hug at the end after walking them to school

Watching 5 of my girls play soccer tonight

Sitting on the sideline with little 5 year olds to 10 and 11 year old boys to high school students in the back all sitting out on the grass cheering the Warden soccer team on

Tearful 13 year old as she worked through her hurt feels by the coach’s words

Cheering up my girls after a loss with half melted cookies

Walking my girls home

Hanging out at the community center with random kids

Running into more random kids on the way home

Chatting with a new mom on her porch for 15 mins

Having be able to spend the majority of the day out in the sun