It’s frustrating, trying to explain myself; everyone tries to understand but it never feels like they can really grasp what I try to convey. When I speak
about my kids, about their lives, what we do at camp and how I see little
things in them that make my day.
It being Tuesday we as staff and interns of Urban Promise
met for fellowship this morning. We discussed chapter four of When helping hurts by Steve Corbett and Brian Fikkert. As the
conversation progressed we talked about how there are so many people and even
churches who can be very eager and willing to help when there is need for immediate
relief in crisis but how the number of churches or even people who step forward
to help in the long term development through building relationships. Yes,
everyone wants to build relationships but when it means that it could be inconvenient
or take priority over other more desired things the eagerness starts to wear
of. But not only that but it is much more attractive to say that you have
provided food for 100 starving orphans in Africa then it is to say that you
hung out and build relationships with 10 people. It is so sad to think about
how much convenience and self-image rule how we think and what we do.
This made me think of how difficult it can be at times
explaining to people what it is that I do. Yah I hang out with kids, I help
with homework, prepare snack and play games. I organize a few bible studies a
week and I make a point of being a part of their lives. Seems good enough
right, I’m trying to do good and to help out but so many miss what I can see.
So often people look for huge results or sudden miraculous change but it is not for
those things that I do what I do. I mean it is and I would love to have those
amazing changes in the kids I hang out with. But that is not how I measure what
I do. I am excited over one kids helping another, or someone speaking up for
someone else. When they ask questions and are digging deeper into the bible
studies and when I see tiny little steps in their growth. It’s a long term thing;
it can’t be done in a two week mission trip. It can’t be done without become
attached, or without it being difficult, inconvenient or even frustrating. They
are not going to change overnight, no one ever does. You don’t so you can’t
expect them to. You can’t compare them to yourself or desire for them to be
like you because they are not you. They are their own person and have to walk
their own life and learn and grow in their own ways at times. There are going
to be mistakes on either ends, on mine and on theirs. There may be some really
tough days, weeks or even months. Horrible choices may be made and that’s okay,
we can then work at learning from them, growing from them and not making them
again.
It is the end of a good, fun, tiring, and slightly
frustrating day. But it is good, even when things don’t go quite as well as I wanted,
I can still confidently say that It is
well. That God is working and moving not only now when I am here but before
I was ever here, before Urban Promise was here and that he will continue to
move and work after I and everyone else is gone.
I so wish I could clearly convey the challenges, joys,
surprises, disappointments, encouragements, struggles and pure pleasure it is building
relationships with these kids.
You do a pretty good job my dear =) Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThank you Janelle! For throwing life and ministry into the blender together and showing us the dedication of ordinary. You inspire me.
ReplyDeleteLove this post. Hits it right on.
ReplyDelete