Being led by the Spirit within normal life

To be led by the Spirit is to not go ahead with our own plans or doing or not doing the things we think or desire to do. Rather it is to be in constant communication and in rhythm with the Spirit to instead be guided by what He says to do and what not to do.

It seemed somewhat superficial growing up thinking of a Spirit that would instruct or guide me. I have been trying to live a life that is more sensitive to the guiding of the Spirit in the ordinary moments of life, in the mundane rhythm to see them as opportunities of God. In the last few weeks I have been in a few very unique circumstances where I have thought one thing but have had a struggle within me to not go ahead with my own ideas but to wait and to follow the promptings of the Spirit instead. This to say my ideas where not bad or wrong, they were just not God’s plan or timing.

I wanted to share some of these times with you as they have impacted me greatly. Both happen to be with the same roommate. She has quite a history and twice in the last two weeks has reached an incredibly low place. Both times I was aware and also aware of the reasons that brought her to this place, the things that this would bring up within her, the lies that the devil often speaks within these moments and the harm and danger she could resort to because of it. First time I was aware but was in a different room, second time in the same room surrounded by many strong loving Christians on a prayer retreat. Both times I desired to go to her to hold her, to pray for her and to keep her from doing things that would hurt her, or cause regret later. But both times I could not because there was something greater saying “No, not yet. This isn't for you, you can’t stop this or fix it, stay where you are.” And so I would stay where I was and pray for her. First time I hear the bathroom door click and I know that she has gone to find a razor blade and I pray that she doesn't use it. Second time, I watch her leave and I pray she doesn't run.

First time I was sitting on the other side of the room waiting for some kind of indicator that I could go to her. It came in her texting me, crying out for prayer. I went to her, she handed me the blade and said “I don’t need this, please pray with me.” Second time it didn't not come until much later, if fact I could go to her all evening. By the time it came to bed I knew still I was not to talk with her and so I offered to pray for her right before bed but it was rejected with hurt and anger. It’s confusing knowing that someone is hurting so greatly but also being so aware of that fact that it is not yours to step into until God allows. Some moments I was wondering what I was waiting for but it was very clear I was waiting for a green light if you will from God. Until then I had to trust that He had it under his sovereign control.

The next morning was tense she was hurting by the fact that I was not coming to her in her hurt, yet I knew I couldn't, not yet. We walked into the cafeteria and she walked over to me, “I need to talk to you!” I stopped, “may I Father, please may I now?” and I knew I could. I don’t know how to explain it but I had been given the okay, it’s not a voice but it kind of is. We sat down and she poured out her hurt, fears, the way she was being held captive and believing the lies. She knew they were lies yet denied the fact that she could not believe them. She confessed to know that God was for her and yet denied being able to go forward in His strength. I knew I could not do it for her, I could do nothing but point her to God and so I did. Calling out her lies and challenging to her to see beyond her feelings, to identify the lies and to live in the truth. I told her I would walk beside her as we counteracted the devil’s power. We together faced her fear, we turned around, got proper food to eat for the first time and days, we sat with the group and moved forward choosing to forgive the hurts, to not believe the lies of the day before and to live in the power of the most high king. In those few moments of talking with her I told her my desire, for her in 5 hours by the time we had our next group activity that she would be back to the joy filled girl I knew her to be, not the one bogged down by the lies. It’s wasn't a pray that I sent to God but He heard it anyways and He answered it to the fullest. If I had done things my way I know it would not have ended the same way it did in the beauty of God’s love, salvation and restoration. It is not about what I do not say anyways it is all about His power and sovereignty over and in our lives and the way and time He chooses to use us for His purposes.