But the greatest of these is love

“Can I talk to you after?” was the request. We stood to the side of the lunch hall which was filled with 60 loud, excited youth day to in Muskoka woods for March break camp. I agreed and we immediately went back to interacting and sitting with the kids. Later as the kids left the hall with the leaders we made our way down stairs to take a minute to talk away from the business. As we sat he looked at me in emptiness, he spoke to me of his frustrations of the weekend, of having the kids 24/7, of not enjoying it like he had hoped, of fear of not being able to look back on this weekend and having good memories but of only having memories of disappointment or stress and anxiousness and of it not really making a difference or an impact in the kids’ lives.

I sat their listening to him, remembering my own similar fears last year and tried to figure out what I could do to calm his fears and to encourage him in his work and efforts. It is a stressful time of running program and making sure everything runs smoothly, of having to watch the kids and lead them 24/7, from motivating them to tucking them and reminding them to shower and brush their teeth. There are not very many moments of deep conversation and you cannot plan for kid’s to open up during small group time or really hear and accept the gospel when it is shared. When it comes down to it there is very little, next to nothing we can do to impacting and make that change happen in our kid’s hearts besides being available, loving, always being the ready to speak truth in any given moment.

It is not about the plans, the program, the bible studies or small group times and games. All these things are good and are very important and we are held responsible to working faithfully to accomplish them but they are not the things that determine what we are working toward, rather it is all the little moments in-between that make all the difference. It’s when in patience you deal in love with the kids who talk till 2:30 a.m, it’s the cuddles you give before bed time, the conversation on the way to breakfast, it’s taking the time to make sure that the scary shadow is really just a tree and not a bear, the times when you help carry a tube up the hill, or walk a little slower and holding a hand instead of rushing ahead to the next thing. It’s when in love you can answer the same annoying question for the tenth time to the same kid, it’s in the self-control you show in having to shower last in the freezing cold water because the 6 kids before you used all the hot water, it’s in asking the hard questions not in fear of what they will think but in love because you desire for them to know the truth, it’s about taking the time to talk about things edging on inappropriate because they truly are curious and need someone safe to ask and receive the truth from. It’s about tying 15 kid’s skates before you tie your own, it is all about the love you demonstrate in the moments when it is not natural or easy.  

The little moments are the things that you will look back and remember. The impact the change, that is in God’s hands and we have to leave it there. We have to put God in His rightful spot and trust that because He is our Creator, Father, Savior, Lord, Redeemer that He is also moving where and how He wants. Our responsibility is to demonstrate the love which He has shown and empowered us with. We must be faithful to speak truth and then place all trust in Him that He will do the rest. When we seek for our own control this is impossible, but it is when we give up our own control and place it in the rightful hands of the One who fashioned our very beings that we can find joy, peace, and rest in the things He has called us to be faithful in.