Rude

The difficult wrestle of self

Self-interest, self- centered

Self- protect, self- controlled

Self-worship, self-lordship

Against all else

No one else matters, no one else cares

No one else controls

No one else has a say

Against authority

They have no say over me

Their opinions determine who I am

Yet have no control over me

Against the King of Kings

He can only be King

As long as He  doesn’t conflict

With what I want

with what I say

Bound tight in these lines

Wrestling for freedom

Only ending more entangled

Burdened by the weight

Sinking deeper as if being crushed

Yet claiming to be standing taller

In control of what I preserve

Of what my mind says

No one can tell me what to do

I listen to no one but myself

Than why dear girl does my voice matter

why little one do you do as I say

 why do you respect me of all people

the only form of authority that holds any weight

She stopped as if caught in a puzzle

And stuttered in what seemed like amazement

I really don't know why I listen to you

Sweet girl don’t you see the ropes entangling you

The lies,

That you have behavior issues

That you are rude

That you are hard, or strong

And that you’ll never amount to much

She nodes in agreement

I am those things she says in controlled pride

I am rude

No sweet girl, you are not rude

Rude is somebody else

They seem to have your name mistaken

 you are dear sweet girl

She laughs out loud

No, I am rude she states

You.......act......rude...

I say slowly

You....are.....not...rude..

Fine, she said with a toss of her head

I, act, rude, she responded mockingly

Do you know what acting is I ask

To pretend

Right, you pretend to be rude

Why would I do that

Because it’s safer,

Safer to be known as rude

To have everyone see you as what you want to be seen as

Rude, tough, strong

I am not tough, she says softly

I know sweet girl, I know