My boys

      Within my passion for Urban Promise there is found a lot of smaller passions and a love for individuals or situations. This week my heart has gone out to a group of our older boys. Last year our team had very different dynamics and due to this I spent a lot of my time reaching out and finding ways to connect with the boys. This included basketball, football, wood working, or anything else that interested them. It was a difficult task last week connecting with them but by the end of the year we were tight and they are my boys now.

This year things have changed, we have a lot of new younger kids in camp and our structure has had to change because of this. Things have changed with the boys, I have had a lot less time to be able to spend with them and because of all the changes in camp some of them have stopped coming as regularly. They are struggling to adapt to the new leader and some out of frustration have stopped coming to camp as regularly. I hate that because of the changes in camp they don’t have them same interest in camp. I hate that I don’t have the same amount of time to spend with them. I hate that other things are taking over their priorities. I miss them and my heart aches at the fact that there is always that possibility of losing them.

There are so many things fighting against their lives and their time. The other day one of the boys I hadn't seen in over a week stopped by at camp just to say hi. I barricaded the door and didn't let him leave until we had a good talk. I miss this kid, I miss my boys. I have a huge spot in my heart for them and I don’t ever want to lose them entirely.   Please be praying for this group of boys that they would still desire the love and relationship they can find at camp. That we wouldn't lose the opportunity to continue building that relationship and to spread the love of Jesus Christ to them.

It's what they call home

Dark echoing hallways that used to be beige but now are just covered in dirt marks and smudges. The smell is not a pleasant one, it’s a musty or almost stall air lined with the smell of weed and other drugs. The apartments themselves are dark, cluttered and simple and yet there are the tiniest of small reminders of the creativity of those who live in these homes. Small gardens along their fencing, a colorful welcome rug by the door or a table set with a colorful umbrella, simple little things that cheer up the surroundings. The atmosphere in this community is a tough one and as we walk our group of kids home at the end of the day you can never be quite sure what it will be like. Some days it seems like a quiet little community with kids running around playing tag while other days there is a really heavy atmosphere felt upon walking into its perimeter. Over even just the last few weeks the walks homes have varied in such extremes from one week laughing and taking, sitting listening to leaves falling and having a crab apple fight to cautiously being aware of our surrounds and the others around us. From laughing and playing the whole way home to arriving at their door and in that difficult situation of having to leave them in some times tough unfair situations.

The other day we left the church in the pouring rain to get the kids home, it was one of the best walk homes I have been on due to how much I have seen my kids grow and how this walk home showed such evidence of the fact. It started with little girls whining about their hair getting wet and then seeing my sweet little gentlemen giving up their hats, holding their bags or umbrellas over their heads to keep them dry. The little girl’s smiles were deep, they were being cared for, treasured and being treated like they were the precious little girls they were made to be. The little boys were thriving from the smiles on the girl’s faces and the affirming words that they were being such good gentlemen to the ladies and that I was proud of them. As we arrived in the community and were walked away from the first little girl door I called out that I loved her as I walked away. A moment later she was hugging my leg as she said “I love you too” before she ran back to her door. Our trip continued as one by one we brought the kids home. As we neared the last door where my little gentleman who gave up his hat lived he looked up at me and asked if I would please tell his grandmother what a good gentleman he had been. I assured him I would proceeded to along with the other leader boast very highly of how amazing he had been. The sad part of this is that he was given no recognition by his grandmother but was only scolded and yelled at for not having worn a jacket.

As we walked through the community back to our camp the beauty and the hardship of this community clashed in my head and hear.It was such a beautiful time with our kids and yet the hardship of bring them back into the community and homes they are from is sometimes the hardest thing to do. There is such a brokenness that dwells over so many of their homes that constantly remind me of the desperate need we are all in for a Savior who has control over ever kind of evil!

Pray for the communities our kids come from, pray for the protection of the people and families who live there and most of all pray that the presence of the Holy Spirit would be what reigns within and over that place.  

Stair well discussions

My favorite part of every day is when my group of nine 11-12 year old girls close their homework books and head to the stair well, the only spot left to find some quietness to open the bible and learn more about the gospel together. Often they take forever to settle into their “spots” along the stairs, pull out their little note books, pick the right color of pen they want to use and quiet down to a point we were can get started. It is common for me in these times to grow impatient as I want to hurry things along and actually get start but recently I have had to check myself and stop and enjoy these moments of my little girls wanting everything to be perfect before we get started, so what if it’s a few minutes later then I planned. As the finally get all settled their eyes are look down at me sitting at the base of the stairs, eagerly waiting to see what it is we are going to talk about today. As their eyes peer readily at me I am struck with a sense of awe at the amazing position God has enabled me to be in. How is it that I get to be the one to present to these young girls the truth of the gospel, then in the next moment this sense of fear comes over me at the lack of knowledge and ability I have to be able to accomplish this task. How can I ever clearly convey the gospel to them? 

But the beauty in this is that I can never clearly perfectly convey it to them there is nothing in myself that has the ability to even get the point across it is all because of the grace God shows to be able to share just a bit of what He has done in my own life and point them to the living word. I am reminded of 1 Peter 4:11 “If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen”. It is only by the ability and words given by God that I am able to sit before them and to share with them the gospel that changed my life. It is extraordinary the way that God is willing to use me, weak and sinful and yet by the grace of God He chooses and enables me to be a part of His story and spreading His love to others.

As we leave the stair well at the end of our discussion I check the time and 9 times out of 10 discover that once again we have gone way over our 20 minutes of bible study time. So many days after the bible study is over we stay in the stair well, missing out on free time and games just sitting and talking about the bible. They never run out of questions, good solid and often hard questions but what a joy it is for me to be able to spend so much time talking of the thing I love the most with these girls who I love so much

Please pray for my group of young girls as we continue to dive into the bible to discuss and learn about what He has done for us if only we accept. Please pray that they would not only learn the facts about the gospel but that it would go far beyond and much deeper than just head knowledge. Also pray that God would continue to enable me to be able to speak the truth not in my own strength or wisdom but in His. 

My God how we need you!

I heard her yell, yell at her leader, yell in anger but all I cared about was the fact that I had heard her voice. I was sitting working on homework with a group of girls knowing that my co leader was in the middle of disciplining one of the older girls. I heard her yell in his face and all I felt was relieved. Relieved that she had at least said something, her saying something even if it was yelling was better than her doing her so familiar head turn, face looking over her shoulder shutting out the world. Words filled with anger, hurt and pain yelled where better than her holding them all inside alone.

First day he threatened to leave camp, second day he threatened to hit another kid, third day he stepped over boundaries and pushed the limits, fourth day he didn't show up. Fifth day he spoke to me, spoke of his boxing career, obviously exaggerating. Sixth day he spoke, he let down his guard and just spoke simple truth.

As I think of each of my precious young adults all I can think of is how badly I want them to know and experience the saving love and grace of my Savior and Lord. Please join me in praying for their hearts to be open and for His power to take control!