Finding Beauty

This morning I had the first of many intern classes where all interns come together and learn based on different topics. 

This morning we talked about what it means for kids to be at risk. 

It was eye opening and very well taught. 

After classes ended I was feeling, I'm not sure how I felt but I needed to speak about the things I had learned and could relate them to my kids. 

I wanted to make people understand what is going on right in their own neighborhoods. The hurt, pain and hopelessness that I witness in kids lives every day. I wanted to shake this world up with that true and not just want to talk about it, I want to make something change. 

I felt tired.

I tried to sleep, didn't help.

I tried eating, didn't make a difference.

Decided to go for a run to run it off, it normally works but it failed today.

Finally I sat by a brook and watched how the water fell over the rocks. 

I watched the squirrels chase each other up and down the trees that stood high and strong into the blue sky.

It was then that I realized that I had been seeking beauty.

There is evil in this world, their is pain and sorrow and hurt.

Life often time not good.

The at risk kids I work with start the race of life 100 meters behind those who have a good supportive family, abuse free, drug free neighborhoods, good school where teachers care, and good role models in their lives.

My heart hurts for the broken.

But not everything is broken, there is still beauty!

Jesus is the beauty in the mists of the brokenness.

He is still here, active and alive!

In my weakness He is strong

This blog post and called in my weakness He is strong and 

there are a few areas that I want to touch on in reference to this statement.

One is allowing yourself to be weak even when it’s embarrassing or belittling because it 

is in those times that we are stretched he most to grow. 

Something that I learned a lot during the summer and now I watch the new interns learn and that every person at Urban Promise has learned in their coming to Urban Promise is how much they suck.

 I suck, is the two word statement that everyone learns in coming here. 

That I am not able to do it, that I’m not good enough and I don’t have what it takes. But we also learn that we are able to do it and we have everything it takes because we have Jesus and through Him we are able to do anything. 

He takes us weak, stubborn and unable and uses it to His glory.

It can be a really hard lesson to learn as it feels like you are being stripped of every quality and great strength that you have but it also feels very freeing know that it doesn’t depend on you and its doesn't even have anything to do with you because it is all about God!

Challenges and trials is a common way that God teaches us this at UP. This week has been trying and full of trials and challenges for most of my roommates. I personally am standing in awe wondering why it’s not as difficult for me at the moment while at the same time knowing I will be challenged in the future as well.

There are a lot of unknowns while working in ministry and a huge need for flexibility which can be very difficult if you like to have a “plan”. Honestly I think I’ve already learned to forget about my plan because I know He has a better plan but I also know I have a lot to learn about this. He continues to through kinks and curves in what we do, not only to remind us that He is in control but also i think for us to learn a lot of lessons on the way.

Something else that we heard about this week has to do with where our focus is. It is on the work of the Lord or is our focus on the Lord of the work. Both sound good right but our focus needs to be on the Lord of the work first and the work of the Lord spills out of that. Something to remember on those days when you feel like what you do is meaningless or when you just don't see how you can keep going. 

Stop and focus on your LORD!

Okay, enough of my random thoughts we started camp and it has been great getting back in contact with the kids daily. I had a really great time today working with one girl on her math homework. This is the same girl that intimidated and scared me at the beginning of the summer and now we are 

great friends……on most day’s lol.

I am also being blown away daily by God provision of material need and financial help. He has surpassed all dreams that I had for my fundraising really showing me who is in control. Our God is soo great….if you doubt it just ask Him to show Himself!

I love being back here for all aspects of it and have really gotten so close with my roommates already. Please pray for us though as we now have to make slight changes to our living arrangements that have caused some confusion and frustrations and unhappiness. It is for the best though and I am excited for all the great things that will come out of it! 

Thank you for reading this and for your prayers!

Grand day!

So I have observed that all my post are always 

super long which should not be a surprise for any one of you who knows me. But I have decided to try and make this one shorter, so here goes!

Today was such a great day, it started with a run in the 

early morning as the sun was rising {great way to start 

any day}! Then headed to camp to finish up the rest of the planning for program next week.

Random things that really made my day amazing consists of my parents dropping by to see me on their way home from 

the airport which was super good to see them again. 

I also got to help assemble a drum set 

and yes i got to jam on it for a bit. I have decided to 

learn how to play the drums properly and I am so 

excited...... a new addition to my bucket list!!! 

Then to make this day even better we 

decided to have a girls night and eat waffles for dinner 

which is just an amazing idea to begin with but add strawberries and a bunch of toppings and man....now your talking! 

Then surprise the guys showed up at our door 

and not to steal out food but to bring us some 

bread that they picked up at a bakery. Yahh....getting 

free food is amazing :) and yes in the end they did stay and eat our food. 

I finished this grand day but playing games and watching a chick flick with my girls. A great ending to a great day, and that wasn't so short after all...oops next time I guess.

Refresh my Soul

How often do you feel run down, over whelmed or distant from God and yet knowing that it’s

 not because He has moved away from you in any way but

 because you have wondered from Him. It’s so easy to be caught up in the 

business of life, even with good things. It’s easy to busy yourself with servicing others

 but forgetting why you are serving them, it’s easy to be busy going here and there and being

 involved in everything but forgetting why they are important, it’s easy to have many 

conversations with many people but forget to look at each one as special, blessed and the treasure that they are.

Why I am writing this is mostly because I have seen this business creep into my life and I see how it is the devil’s way of destroying the good that I am trying to do.

It has been a very busy week, settling in with my four new roommates, showing them 

around and helping them figure everything out, planning for camp, as well as 

normal stuff like cooking and cleaning at the flat and trying not to get lost while

 traveling on the TTC. I can see how everything I have been doing has not been 

seen in the light of joy like it should. It is awesome stuff that I have had the chance 

to do this week but yet if I do not see it in the right light or with a proper perspective it is yet another opportunity missed.  

Last night I had the opportunity to join a group associated with the MoveIn 

organization for an evening of prayer. We prayed for persecuted Christian around the world, for our city of Toronto and in small groups for ourselves. It was an evening full of perspective for me! It

 was also a blessing for me and all my roommates to find a place we can go weekly to 

have this Christian communion and fellowship. God is so good in providing us with a church surrounding us.

So my week continues to prep and preparing for program to start with Urban Promise. 

There is a lot that is dependent on me that was not during the 

summer which is good for challenging and stretching me, been doing a lot 

of brain storming! I am so very excited though through all of the high and lows for 

all that God is going to be doing through myself and the other interns here. And the amazing thing is.... He doesn’t even need us to do any of what He has planned and yet He chooses to use us! 

He even chooses to use our foolishness and mistakes!

 Makes me shake my head in astonishment and wonder at how gracious and loving our 

Friend, Father, Saviour, Husband, and Lord is! Thanks be to Him!

Saying Yes!

Yes has been the motto for this year thus far. I am currently living with two other girls, one from BC and one from Scotland. We are also anticipating and waiting for the arrival of our other two roommates from Germany. I am so happy to be back in Toronto and back into my cozy “flat” as the Scottish calls it. We are having a lovely time getting to know each other and all seem to have the same general interests and craziness which is grand!

Since I already said that our motto thus far is saying yes, let me explain a little bit about that! From the influence of each other we have all decided to say to random things that we normally would have said no to. This may sound dangerous but don’t worry it’s about stuff like trying new food, or going for a sunrise run, or taking late night photos.

Since we have been here we have mostly spent time getting to know the people we will be working with, planning the afterschool program and walking in the communities getting to know the kids and getting them to fill out their registration forms. It was awesome to see some of the kids again and they were pretty excited to see me as well which felt great!

Yesterday we had a short day of planning since out supervisor had some else to be and so we were able to take the new “tourists” down town to the harbour front. We also got this really awesome blessing to go see the Jays game for free. There is a company that donates tickets to go see games, sometimes baseball, or basketball or hockey. During the school program we would take the kids but since it has not started yet our supervisor gave them to us and we got to watch the Jays! They lost 2 to 3.

Then when we got home way to late and completely exhausted I fell asleep for exactly one hour till I woke up again when our new “flat mate” arrived from Germany. The poor girl had to meet us all half asleep and not entirely with it. This morning has been a lot better so far.

I am really excited to start camp as I hear so much about it! Camp will run Tuesdays till Thursdays and on Friday we make a dinner with the kids from the program and with any other kids from the community that want to come for more of an evangelistic evening. When I am not at camp I will be doing a number of different things; attending a weekly worship service with all of Urban Promise staff, volunteering at a school, Intern classes and apartment devotion/meeting morning. So we have just over a week of training and planning then all of this will begin!!

Thanks again everyone for your support as you have given of yourself!! Its greatly appreciated!

Live the life you`re imagined!

How to express how I am feeling...

I am tired for one, but I am also so excited to have 

moved back to Toronto tonight. Full of anticipation as I 

think of what the next couples weeks hold as I get started once again with Urban Promise.

I am also feeling very blessed and grateful 

for the previous three weeks.During the last couple 

weeks I was able to spend time with my family, 

work on a local farm that I practically grew up on, 

attend camp tamarack and enjoy countless coffee dates and times of fellowship with so many special people in my life.

I have received so much support 

from people from all different areas of my life. Every individual is dear to me and so is the way that they have personally encouraged me through conversations, words, deeds, gifts and by their way of loving me.

God has been so good to me and has over and over again shown me is control and providence in this mission with Urban Promise.

So this is a big thank you for everyone 

who has built into my life, whether it was in the past three weeks or not. You are special and are being used by God 

whether you choose to believe that or not and know that I 

am very thankful for your presence within my life.

Be confident in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you`re imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler. Henry David Thoreau.