Tears

Some times silent, other times loud and very messy, tears come in many ways for many reasons but they always express an emotion.

Over the years of doing ministry in at risk communities and running after school program for children I have experienced many moments of tears for many different reasons. 

Tears of pain and hurt, of laughter and joy, of frustration, of seething anger, and sometimes just because they don't know how else to express themselves. 

Tears are a gift, they are full of meaning and weight. My husband often says to me he wishes he could cry as it is not a very common for him. The day of our wedding he wanted to cry, to have his yes joy expressed through tears and again when I told him we were pregnant a moment he wished he could have cried. Tears are a gift, a way to express deep feeling whether full of joy or sorrow. Tears wash down our faces helping to relieve the extent of emotion being felt often leaving us tired or exhausted and it a strange way at times feeling better. 

But tears are also as the same time sometimes the only coping mechanism for expressing deep hurt, pain or anger. They can be an uncontrolled way our bodies respond to shock and deep heart wrenching hurt, pain or fear. 

In this season at camp I have lots of criers. Kids who are quick to tears as a result or reaction to almost anything. Their upset, they cry, they didn't catch the ball, they cry. They made some one else cry, they still cry.  It is in these moments that emotions are all being expressed in the exact same way, tears. A baby is born and cries to express anything and everything, crying is it's primary way of communicating, but as the child grows so should their ability to communicate to many different emotions and desires in many different ways. But sometimes they don't, sometimes there is so little stable, healthy examples of emotions being expressed in right or helpful ways that they don't learn and constantly resort to what is known to them, tears. 

A huge part of what we do at camp is helping kids to understand they have the ability to make choices. That no one else makes their choices for them, other people may effect they way they feel but they actually have the ability to choose how they react to those feelings and to empower them to make those decisions in knowledge that they are. This is tied so closely to emotions, we are humans, react and respond based on so many emotions in a day and kids do the same, often following the poor examples of those around them. In anger they hit, in fear they bully, in sadness they hid, in pain they cause pain. This task of helping kids to make good choices is tied very closely to helping them understand and identity their emotions before reacting to how they feel as well as teaching healthy alternatives to expressing such emotions.