Modeling clay is really cool stuff. It is fun, feels a
little messy on the hands but in reality isn't very messy at all. You can
create whatever your mind can image; it can be completive or relaxing. It feels
good to create, to take your time or to finish quickly and it feels even better
to accomplish, to finish something and to think that it looks great.
Interesting though that on the flip side there are a lot less positive feelings
involved even though it is the King of the universe that is the one doing the
molding of the clay. (Jeremiah 18) As he builds us, molds us, reminds us that
He is the one in complete control, it can be uncomfortable but to rightly
understand who He is should not make
us uncomfortable but rather security in His hands.
It is just under one month away from being September. And
for most people that isn’t exciting news as we would prefer summer to last
forever. Myself I am very eager for September, yet the name of this month also
brings a lot of uncertain feelings for me. I am holding loosely to this hope of
being able to move to Toronto and to begin a new season of life with
UrbanPromise Toronto, yet hold it loosely because it isn’t my decision to make.
As I working on communicating my need for this fall I am reminded time and time
again that it has very little to do with what I am doing and has everything to
do with what God is doing. He is the molder, He is the creator and He is the
one creating, building and strengthen not only my relationships, trust and
dependency on Him but is working on the hearts and lives of many people
involved and connected to me.
This may sound all cheery and great, that I understand or
am confident in the fact that I am not the one in control or that I am
perfectly comfortable and relaxed in the fact that He is working this all out
to the praise of His name. I wish that was all true and there are glimpses of
time when it is. The more realistic picture of it all is me pathetically trying
to manage on my own, frantically thinking that I am the one in control only to
sink as Peter did in the waves when His eyes left Jesus and became fixed on the
waves swirling around him. My eyes can so often we fixated on the things surrounding
me, circumstances, feelings and what I think I am able to do in the midst of it
all.
“Lord save me”
Matt 14:30, was peter’s cry. He was drowning in what surrounded him; he was
completely helpless and cried out to Jesus. “Immediately”, what sweet words, immediately. Jesus did not wait, He
did not make Pete gravel or beg, rather immediately,
without delay, Jesus reached out his hand and took hold of him. “Oh you of little faith, why did you doubt?”
Peter knew Jesus, had seen Jesus just a few days earlier feed 5,000 men with
only 5 loaves and 2 fish. Where was his faith, it had been replaced with his
eyes, his focus fixed on the circumstances surrounding him.
I feel like Peter, one minute I am amazed by Jesus, by His
grace in so many ways, great and small, only to be one of little faith letting
my circumstances overwhelm me. What an assurance it is to know that when I cry
out to Him, He will immediately extend His hand to pick me up again!
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